OK! What I take from this is that both men and women need to pull their weight in a relationship to make it a true and fair path to take together. It does not have to be equal from a monetarily perspective but from a perspective of carrying the weight of a relationship as a whole. So, I love how you eloquently and respectfully wrote this. What I think this also comes down to is communication and how two people respect each other in a relationship. We may not always like doing the things asked of us in a relationship but if it matters to the other than we do what it takes b/c that is a part of unconditional love. There are layers to this and I think I am seeing what you are writing, Mark.. Beautifully done my friend
Traci, that’s exactly it. Love ain’t about splitting the check 50/50 — it’s about showing up 100/100, each in our own way. Some days that weight is heavier on one side, some days it flips, but respect and communication are the only way it balances out in the long run. Unconditional love isn’t pretty words, it’s the daily choice to carry what matters to the person you chose. Glad you saw that thread in what I wrote — means a lot.
A real relationship isn’t 50/50—it’s 100/100. Each person has to pull their own weight and also be there to lift the other up, especially when one has fallen. Without that kind of effort and love, the relationship slowly fades. I’ve learned this both through my own experiences and by watching others.
That’s beautifully said. You’re right—when it’s real, it’s not about halves, it’s about both people carrying their full weight and lifting when the other stumbles. That’s the heart of what I was trying to get at in this piece too. Appreciate you adding your voice here.
No one asked you to do these things in your first paragraph alone I beg you to do 1 of the things which you still have not done and that hurts me to my core.It hurts me to my core that it was said that you were gonna take care of everything which I want to know what have you taken care of so far
In slang, a "sherpa" refers to a guide, mentor, or experienced helper who navigates a person through a challenging situation or unfamiliar territory, drawing on their knowledge and expertise to provide assistance, just as the actual Sherpa people guide climbers through the treacherous terrain of the Himalayas. The term can also be used as a verb, meaning to guide or help someone in this way.
This world rewards people who treat it like a game. Where being a Charlie sheen is seen as winning and not as empty and hollow.
Men are shaped into the solid foundation for women to be able to fall back on, but many men refuse to change and refuse to be solid. The world tells them to treat it like a game rather than actually care about a person
Some say, “I want safety.”
Then call it smothering when the mountain builds walls against the storm.
Men carry that in their bones.
Some bend.
Some break.
The ones who keep holding—that’s how stone is born.
It's the same thing. The world tells us it is a game, so when a man is actually solid and caring, how is one to know its actually a game. But those who are patient and wait build the foundation of which a relationship should be based on
You both laid out very solid points and I want to thank you both for writing this as it gave me some perspective from both views..
Elijah, I hear you on the “game” part — the mask wins in a world built on spectacle. The solid ones aren’t flashing lights, so we get overlooked until the storm hits.
But here’s the truth I’ve lived: the mountain doesn’t stand to win applause. It stands because collapse isn’t an option. “Some say, I want safety,” then call it smothering when walls rise — I’ve seen that too. But walls aren’t a cage; they’re proof somebody cares enough to keep the storm outside.
Patience isn’t passive. It’s weight carried in silence, stone by stone, until the foundation shows itself. And like you said — those who keep holding are the ones who turn steady into sacred.
I absolutely agree. I had to stand tall and not crumble when I was alone, drinking heavily and unable to do anything else but keep going. I had to walk to a job I hated, uncertain about my health or my future, and carry on despite hating myself and the life I had carved out for myself. I learnt the most and did the most to build a solid foundation for myself during this time..
Thank you, Brenda. That was the intention—to climb higher, even when the ground shakes. Grateful you felt it.
OK! What I take from this is that both men and women need to pull their weight in a relationship to make it a true and fair path to take together. It does not have to be equal from a monetarily perspective but from a perspective of carrying the weight of a relationship as a whole. So, I love how you eloquently and respectfully wrote this. What I think this also comes down to is communication and how two people respect each other in a relationship. We may not always like doing the things asked of us in a relationship but if it matters to the other than we do what it takes b/c that is a part of unconditional love. There are layers to this and I think I am seeing what you are writing, Mark.. Beautifully done my friend
Traci, that’s exactly it. Love ain’t about splitting the check 50/50 — it’s about showing up 100/100, each in our own way. Some days that weight is heavier on one side, some days it flips, but respect and communication are the only way it balances out in the long run. Unconditional love isn’t pretty words, it’s the daily choice to carry what matters to the person you chose. Glad you saw that thread in what I wrote — means a lot.
This is SO BEAUTIFUL. You have no idea how much I appreciate it
Coming from you, that means more than I can say. Just walked the path you lit and tried to leave a few steady footprints of my own.
I am in love with your work...such a brilliant writer you are !
Thank you, I’m humbled
A real relationship isn’t 50/50—it’s 100/100. Each person has to pull their own weight and also be there to lift the other up, especially when one has fallen. Without that kind of effort and love, the relationship slowly fades. I’ve learned this both through my own experiences and by watching others.
That’s beautifully said. You’re right—when it’s real, it’s not about halves, it’s about both people carrying their full weight and lifting when the other stumbles. That’s the heart of what I was trying to get at in this piece too. Appreciate you adding your voice here.
Just loved this.
Wow. What a response. Sensitively written, purposefully worded, but clearly intended to seek higher ground. ❤️
No one asked you to do these things in your first paragraph alone I beg you to do 1 of the things which you still have not done and that hurts me to my core.It hurts me to my core that it was said that you were gonna take care of everything which I want to know what have you taken care of so far
Together we achieve more.
I couldn’t agree more
Who is Sherpa?
In slang, a "sherpa" refers to a guide, mentor, or experienced helper who navigates a person through a challenging situation or unfamiliar territory, drawing on their knowledge and expertise to provide assistance, just as the actual Sherpa people guide climbers through the treacherous terrain of the Himalayas. The term can also be used as a verb, meaning to guide or help someone in this way.
The second one...
The second?
What a wonderful read!
"Walk tall, look the world right in the eye!" Val Doonican
A MIND AKIN
🙂🙃
A mind, growing
More and more
happy and glad
That Poets meet
The world over
Always picking
four leafed clover 🍀
From each other's Love
A penny for a rupee
In the land of our Mind's Eye.
No exchange rate could
Comprehend our value
Of what we consider good!
"Because the world rewards masks.
Men who shout, men who parade.
Noise disguised as substance.
Fireworks mistaken for fire."
This world rewards people who treat it like a game. Where being a Charlie sheen is seen as winning and not as empty and hollow.
Men are shaped into the solid foundation for women to be able to fall back on, but many men refuse to change and refuse to be solid. The world tells them to treat it like a game rather than actually care about a person
Some say, “I want safety.”
Then call it smothering when the mountain builds walls against the storm.
Men carry that in their bones.
Some bend.
Some break.
The ones who keep holding—that’s how stone is born.
It's the same thing. The world tells us it is a game, so when a man is actually solid and caring, how is one to know its actually a game. But those who are patient and wait build the foundation of which a relationship should be based on
You both laid out very solid points and I want to thank you both for writing this as it gave me some perspective from both views..
Elijah, I hear you on the “game” part — the mask wins in a world built on spectacle. The solid ones aren’t flashing lights, so we get overlooked until the storm hits.
But here’s the truth I’ve lived: the mountain doesn’t stand to win applause. It stands because collapse isn’t an option. “Some say, I want safety,” then call it smothering when walls rise — I’ve seen that too. But walls aren’t a cage; they’re proof somebody cares enough to keep the storm outside.
Patience isn’t passive. It’s weight carried in silence, stone by stone, until the foundation shows itself. And like you said — those who keep holding are the ones who turn steady into sacred.
I wrote a bit about it if you're interested in taking a read. No pressure though..
https://open.substack.com/pub/elijahwestin1/p/the-day-i-moved-away?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=60cv41
I absolutely will read today
I absolutely agree. I had to stand tall and not crumble when I was alone, drinking heavily and unable to do anything else but keep going. I had to walk to a job I hated, uncertain about my health or my future, and carry on despite hating myself and the life I had carved out for myself. I learnt the most and did the most to build a solid foundation for myself during this time..